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| Genuflections
of 80's Television, Part 2: Battlestar Galactica "There are those who believe that life here began out
there..."
Battlestar Galactica was really,
really cool.
An elaborate fable that richly entwined the fantasy culture of this world into an ongoing
saga. Originally formulated as ‘Adam's Ark’ (the story of Noah’s Ark
finding a new world from the one destroyed is clearly the basis - and of course, the
Galactica was piloted by Commander Adama), the Galactica took us each week closer to Earth
which was, delightfully, the ‘Lost 13 th Tribe (which was, also delightfully,
Atlantis). We were all born of the descendants of the Galactica homeworld (no-one
forgets the Colonial Viper pilot helmets which looked like ancient Egyptian head dress).
And other things…years were ‘yarhens’, seconds were ‘centons’.
My most vivid recollection is an episode toward the end of the first seasons, where
a monitor on board the Galactica intercepts a television transmission from Earth. My heart
leapt....then was ‘Galactica 1980’. The less said of this second season the
better.
All Battlestars but the Galactica (and, as we
later find, the Pegasus) were destroyed during the Cylon deception at Simtar the two-hour
pilot. I am sure there were twelve Battlestars, one for each of the twelve human
colonies (named for the twelve signs of the zodiac).
In inflation-adjusted dollars, Battlestar Galactica remains the most expensive television
series - per episode - ever made. The theme was performed by the Los Angeles Philharmonic
Orchestra.
Battlestar Galactica taught us of the longing for a place to call home. |
Battlestar Galactica
Desktop Wallpaper
|
In the 24 hours of the Battlestar Galactica series, only five Battlestars are
specifically mentioned.
In order of appearance: Galactica, Atlantia, Columbia, Pegasus and Rycon.
There are three more mentioned in background in the pilot episode: Acropolis,
Triton and Pacifica
I believe there were 12 Battlestars, one for each of the '12 (human) Colonies'
which were named for the signs of the Zodiac: Caprica, Aries, Sagitara, Gemon,
Libra, Taura, Virgon, Leonis, Aquarius, Cancer, Pisces, and Scorpia.DS |
Battlestar Galactica on DVD
And get the Battlestar Galactica (1978 Television Film) Soundtrack
|
| Battlestar Galactica: 'Mission
Galactica' is available to buy for AUS$24.95. It is released by Universal &
distributed by CIC Video (02) 9975 1066, or Rainbow Products (02) 9451 7577 in Aus. You
can ring them to enquire about retail outlets. Or ask any major department store (such as
Grace Bros.), to order it for you, which may take 2 weeks. The CIC product No. is
VSU66035, the Rainbow product No. is RFM1185. |
|
Cool. Battlestar
Galactica Schematics.
  
Cool again. Colonial
Viper Schematics
Cooler.
Battlestar Galactica closing
theme music (.wav file - zipped)
Coolest. Battlestar Galactica
MIDI file!
(just what the theme would sound like rendered on a Commodore 64!)
Download the Battlestar
Galactica font (TrueType, zipped)
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| Genuflections of
80's Television, Part 3: Whiz Kids Airing in Australia in 1984 when computers still meant LED
calculator typefaces with little lightning bolts for emphasis, 'Whiz Kids' was a cathode
ray tube weekly manifestation of 'War Games' (Geek as Cool) with delimited social comment
- this was a G-rated prime-time US series, after all.
And I loved it. The lead character had some (for its day) supercomputer in his bedroom
that everyone ooohhhed and ahhhed over which he built from superseded stuff his Father
received for free from the Top Hush Hush Secret Government entity he worked at. To me, it
looked like a Commodore PET with futuristic extra bits glued on. He called his machine
RALF which, like the WOPER computer in 'War Games', stood for something, but I cannot
remember either of them. Supercomputers always have acronyms that have an entendre
meaning; they are rarely called QT-JKG (except in 40's and 50's sci-fi).
So. Three guys and a girl as the Whiz Kids. RALF was either the cause or the solution to
the adventure that he (the lead character) and his friends (and one of the high school
teachers) had each episode.
Vaguely interesting, but what's the point?
The girl played tennis in one episode.
The other guys had come to grab her to go on some hijinks but she had to practice. The
shot was set with the three guys (one, of course, was black) in the foreground deciding
what to do next, while she volleyed in the background. She wore a little white skirt and
tank-top.
And I became a man. It was the first time I can recall thinking "If I don't fuck her
right fucking now, I'm going to fucking go mad." Male readers will know what I mean.
I think she grew up, gained an eating disorder, and reappeared as Kate from 'Alf'. I only
just realised this. Strange, Kate from Alf always turned me off.
Again, perhaps male readers also know what I mean.
My most vivid ultra-cool memory was the Geek guy having his home computer access the
school network and alert him that it had finished processing (at 1Mhz) a problem he was
working on (this was when modems had rubber pieces for an old-style telephone set) and his
teacher exasperatingly saying "but you're NOT supposed to be able to DO that!"
And he walked away all cool and shit.
My C64 never came close.
DS |
...And download the Whiz Kidz
opening theme music (.wav - zipped) |
Whiz Kidz/ALF chick...here in Married with
Children. Yummy.
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Genuflection's
of 80s Television, Part 4: Buck Rogers in the 25th Century
This post celebrates the wonderfully quasi-misogynist moment in season two (1981) when
Buck and the gang rescue a group of seven strange little men.
In what I can only now appreciate as a wholly improper (by today's 'progressive'
standards) take on 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarves', these seven little men, having
never seen a woman, spend the rest of the episode involved in a sub-plot about attempting
to get Colonel Wilma Deering's (Erin Gray's) clothes off to see what 'all the bumps are'.
(No script editor, of course, would even dream of this today - even the PYT's in 'Home and
Away' and 'Neighbours' only get around in bikinis when there is a direct relationship to
the scene, and even then wear strategically wrapped towels. The hems of the Summer Bay
High summer uniform also seem to have gotten longer).
I have no recollection as what the main plot for this episode may have been.
Anyhow...they finally corner her in a storeroom, join hands around her and start chanting
"off-think" together; using their shared telekinetic powers to strip away her
ultra-tight space uniform. So..."off think", "off think", "off
think", "off think", etc and little bits of her (blatantly virginal) white
space uniform start flying off in quite pleasing tangents. Erin Gray was a total babe and
was lauded as such in the first series of 'South Park'. I was nine, I think, when I
saw this and felt the first stirring's of a desire that I now know very well indeed.
Just as the good bits are about to be revealed, Buck finds Wilma and holds her in a
near-nude panting embrace (Buck as Stud, Wilma as breathless lust object).
Very well indeed.
...and I seem to remember some footage in early season one episodes (those set on Earth)
being taken from 'Battlestar Galactica'. The whole thing also had a neo-Disco feel to it
(again, just like Battlestar Galactica, where they also went to a disco in the second 1
hour episode) and I can clearly recall Twiki dancing with Dr Theopolous and saying
'debadebadebda get down!'
So cool, yet so far away.
DS
'debadebadeba get down!' |
|
When I was 10 I was on
holiday in Queensland and that weekend's episode of 'Buck Rogers'
was pre-empted by a Paul Hogan special I was pissed but the
Brisbane Channel Niners had a competition that
week where if you could name the robot from the Buck Rogers series (not
Twiki, but the snooty one that hung out with Wilfred Hyde-White)
you won a toy robot.
I thought and thought. And then it came:
'Kryton'!
And I fucking won!
Yes.
Here is a photo of Kryton with Twiki
(Gay Icon Robots from the Future)?
Buck Rogers
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| Genuflections
of 80's Television, Part 5: Diff'rent Strokes
Remember the 'very special episode' of
‘Diff'rent Strokes’ where Dudley was molested by the bicycle shop owner?
"he gave me a pill...and then he tried
to touch me."
That was totally intense. The whole
fucking episode freaked me out. When it
finished, Mr Drummond addressed the TV audience with one of those
"serious" messages about sexual abuse.
DS |
|
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Genuflections of 80's Television, Part 6:
Degrassi Junior High
Fuck but Stephanie was such a
little scrag...Joey really put his immune
system on the line doing her over summer instead of waiting for the
(so much more yummy) Caitlyn. I also liked it when Spike's
boyfriend took acid and jumped off a bridge (becuase that's
what happens when you take LSD) and then Spike wouldn't
let him see the baby! And when Claude (sp?) shot himself
in the middle school shitter and Snake freaked out when
he found it and Zit Remedy were cool...then in the film
Wheels was fat and pissed all the time and had a mullet
cut and the party was cool and someone nearly dies
and those weird twins still wouldn't fuck anyone
coz one had an abortion (even though Heather
or Erica were on the piss since year 8) and
fat-kid Artur was older (and still fat) and
Joeys piece of shit car and the time Joey
and Wheels and Snake wanted to make
a video with chicks in bikinis and i got
all horny and Lucy and Caitlin got all
angry and took this hard-core
feminist stance and wouldn't
get in the bikinis and i got
all upset about that and
went to play 'Elite' on
my Commodore 64...
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