Chicken

Since we caught a chicken, for theoretical purposes, it would be a waste to throw it away. I would suggest that we try my gastronomic invention. For this we need:

A chicken we already caught and cleaned (no feathers please)
A six-pack of Coopers Sparkling Ale (or a similar beer)
Two or three tablespoons of honey (I prefer Leatherwood honey)
A third of a cup of olive oil
Salt
Mushrooms (optional)

Besides hotplate, we will need a large pot with an appropriate lid, two wooden spoons and between ½ an hour and ¾ of an hour cooking time (might be longer for a very big chicken).

Rub the salt generously into the chicken inside and outside.

Heat up the oil, on a high heat, in a large pot and add the honey. Stir the honey in the oil while it bubbles and until its colour starts to turn dark. Put the chicken in and turn it quickly (using wooden spoons) around until its skin is golden-brown. Add a quater of Coopers (375 mil bottle), stir and cover the pot with the lid. Lower the heat between medium to high.

Help yourself with another bottle of Coopers. (Do not worry. You will need only one or two for chicken. The rest is there to help you concentrate on cooking.) Every three to five minutes, quickly uncover the pot and shift or turn the chicken around. Do not panic if it sticks - use the wooden spoons to detach it gently from the bottom. When the sauce starts to thicken and its colour darkens, add a quater of Coopers to make a light brown foam again.

After twenty minutes, occasionally try the sauce. Before the sweetness of honey threatens to turn in the bitterness of beer, stop adding the beer and start adding the water. (If bitterness prevails add a small drop of honey.)

A small chicken should be finished in an ½ an hour, but it won't hurt if you cook it longer. If you opted for mushrooms, add them 5 to 10 minutes before end of cooking. At end, uncover the pot and let the sauce thicken a bit and remove it form the heat.

It will be best served with mashed potatoes (using salt, butter and sour cream), topped with sauce and with garden salad at a side. (I love garden salad sprinkled with olive oil, mashed garlic, salt and balsamic vinegar.) And do not forget that licking fingers is not a sign of good manners. (I always forget that.)

Caution, this meal is not recommended as a romantic dinner for two. All your clothes may require dry-cleaning afterwards.

3 July 2001